Obscene War Veterans

War is always and will ever be obscene, but faced with a greater obscenity- Slavery, I would fight. While war is obscene, those who go forward, who charge the machine guns, who bleed, who go down to the aid stations and who are put in body bags- they are not obscene, their sacrifices have no measure- theirs has a purity where mankind shines and is beyond corruption. I am not blasphemous when I say that in the brutality and evil of war, soldiers, who have offered themselves up so that their buddies may live, have in them the likeness and image of God. And damn those who debunk courage, valor fidelity, love of country, love of home, family, hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. Our soldiers give up much- that others may live, not only in freedom but even luxury. They deserve our great, great gratitude and affection because they are willing to serve. They are some of God’s noblest people.  General Cavazos

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US citizens burden of War

US citizens burden of War

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Enough of the PTSD classification

Many very intelligent people have tried to classify what happens to humans when they go through combat. They identify symptoms, name it and such. The only problem with that is they have not experienced it, therefor offer no real solution.
I have experienced combat and a lot of it. These are Truth’s that I learned along my journey.
This so called phenomena sometimes called soldiers heart, shell shock, battle fatigue, and the most inappropriate name “PTSD”, is not complex at all.
It is a human condition that occurs when anyone is a part of War. It is my experience that we were not meant to harm other human beings. That being said, I also believe that some folks need killing. I do not regret the actions that I have taken being part of the war. I just did not know the price tag for doing what I still know to be the right thing.

This is the deal that no one explained to me, because they didn’t know. It matters not the “cause”; God, Country, family, protection, removing humans that cause terror, horror, torture, suffering and effect hundreds of thousands or more other humans. A price will be paid by one that removes those humans from this life. I did not know that. Knowing that…..I would not change anything I have done. I am a warrior, a protector of my people, my brothers keeper, Shepard etc. That is my gift my talent, like many others.

I cannot escape the fact that I am a human. I cannot escape the the universal laws that govern the human experience. I do begin to get relief when I know why I am struggling so much with the things in my life I love so much, after war. Just knowing exactly what the “problem” with me is, helps so much and empowers me to continue on my Journey.

Veterans are committing suicide at a rate of around 16 a day. That is a fact. If any other group of American citizens were doing this it would be classified as an epidemic and our Nation would throw money and support at it from a national perspective. That is not what is happening. The opposite is occurring.They are taking more from us and helping less. So instead of assuming the victim role and blaming our so called “leaders”, we will do what warriors always do, take care of business our selves.
Stay in the fight!

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Fallen Eagles

I weep for the brothers I have lost in this life
I weep because I miss them and for all of the emptiness that is where they used to be
The Void/Vacuum, that can never be filled again, in this life

But I also wait, with a smile
For we will be together again and not be weighed down by the limitations of this life
We will join in Battle again for our Creator and we will breach the gates of Hell together
This time, nothing will stop us
We will defeat the enemy once and for all. Warriors of the Light

summer of 2007

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Because I Remember

I love my wife with all of my heart and soul because I remember what my life was like with her not in it.
I cherish the relationship I have with my boys because I remember all of the holidays, birthdays and special times I missed with them.
I love soldiers and am mercilessly passionate about their quality of life because I remember their screams on the battlefield and what it felt like when they died in my arms.

I enjoy being warm because I remember being wet and cold for days on end.

I love my Freedom because I remember what it was like being hopeless and chained within the bondage of my self.

I love My Creator because I remember the vacancy  in my soul where He wanted to be.

I am one who easily forgets. There is no getting past that. But I can choose to Remember. When I Remember, it all comes back to me.


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WarriorSOS interview


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Remember who I am

26 October 2011

Today is an amazing day for me to remember who I really am.
I have come to believe that we have nothing to learn here on this journey, only to remember who we really are, and in this remembrance, we wake up to the truth inside our souls. This truth is always with us, if we listen and pay close attention, but if we are sleep walking through life, we will miss all of the signs, and to miss or ignore the signs is the difference between bliss and hell on earth.

This ability to remember requires that I live a very conscious and aware life. Taking in, all that I feel, and knowing that these feelings are nothing less than the power, which is God, inside of me.

To know that God is in me and I in Her is the greatest gift I can ever receive, yet I cannot receive it, for it is impossible to receive something that I already have, so how then do I “get” it?

The answer is simple and falls in line with the knowledge gained up until this point. I wake up, and in waking up, I am able to remember, and in remembering, I am able to become that which I already am.
Scot Spooner

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OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley 1875

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Who are your heroes? The superstars in sports, the rich and famous? Do you watch them on TV or buy tickets to their games. Do you read about them in magazines or listen to them on talk shows and interviews. That is what most people do and it is ok, I guess.

I am one of the fortunate ones. I see my heroes everyday. I work with them, play with them, go to their homes. I know their children and they know mine. They are living breathing examples of who I aspire to be, and I pray I do not ever let them down.

On the street when you see them you think they are normal average guys. Some of them may be a little arrogant or slightly anti-social. You would never know who they are or what they do. You would never know the deeds they have done or the Sacrifices they make every day so that you can freely walk around this country and possible criticize them without knowing it.

They place themselves on the Alter of Freedom and are willing to pay the ultimate Sacrifice. Lately, the price is often paid……and why do they do this? Why are they so willing to give up all they love so very much? Are they mindless warmongers looking for thrill or glory?

The ignorant would think so, and maybe in the beginning when they were young it was so……but not now.

What will cause a man to run into a hail of bullets that just cut down another man’s life right in front of him? Fury, rage, anger, hate……no, none of these have enough depth or weight.

In the midst of massive amounts of trauma and horror only one thing will prevail…..love.

What makes these men heroes is not how good they can shoot or how strong or how fast they are. It is in their ability to demonstrate through their actions, love. Love for their brothers.

“Tonight someone will surely die, but it will not be you my brother, I will go into the breach first.”

This is what they all say….in their minds, for they would never say this to their brothers out loud. Because in their hearts they know their brothers are thinking the same thing and would try even harder to beat them into the breach.

What I am writing about is not a concept or a story that was told to me by someone else. I have seen it, and words do not adequately describe what they do without thinking.

You hear people use the phrase “ I would die for you” in movies, books, and sometimes even in life from others that love you. It is a tall order for someone to say and even taller for one to actually do.

My heroes live that saying daily…..without saying it. I am honored to have walked among them, fought with them, spilled blood, sweat, tears and prayers with them. I stand in awe of their actions everyday.

If your hero does not meet this description, find another hero. Life is too hard and too short to not have living examples of who and what you want to be.

Tom Spooner 2006

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The wrong Audience

Their are many programs and help for Veterans that want it. The real focus should be on the communities in which veterans live. A community of relentless love and support is what is needed for Veterans to heal. What are you doing for veterans in your community? Just do something. Big or small, it does not matter. Tom

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